I’d like to talk today about love, but I don’t want to talk about mushy love; I don’t want to talk about the kind of love that’s fun. I want to talk about the kind of love that’s work.
The Greeks had three different words they used that are all translated into the English word “Love”. This makes it interesting when we study the Bible because it’s helpful to know WHICH word is being used when the Bible says “Love”. The first word was “fileo”. Phileo is a word that describes a love as between brothers. Most folks know that Philadelphia is called the “City of Brotherly Love”. Well, “Adelphia” is the Greek word for city and “Phileo” is the Greek word for brotherly love so Phileo-Adelphia… Philadelphia… is the City of Brotherly Love. The second word was “eros”. Eros describes a love between a husband and wife, and is the source of our word “Erotic”. The third word is “agape”. Agape was a word rarely used in Greek literature, but a word that abounds in the Bible. Agape describes a selfless love, a love that always thinks of others first and self last. It is agape love about which I wish to speak today. Most of us are familiar with the words of 1Corinthians 13: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. This is a description of the love that God has for us. But don’t forget, Jesus calls us to love as He loved, so really, it’s a description of what OUR love for others should look like as well.
I think it’s a human tendency to love in levels. Our first level is our immediate family; those to whom we are closest. These are the ones for whom our love is greatest. There is little we wouldn’t do for them, little we wouldn’t give them, little that we wouldn’t sacrifice of our own needs or comfort in order to make sure that they had everything they needed. Our second level is our extended family, and some of our closest friends. We love them deeply, but being honest, the list of things that we would go out of our way to do for them is not as abundant as the list of things we would do for those in our innermost circle. In the next circle are our friends, some of our co-workers, possibly more distant relatives, and for these folks we may choose to go out of our way to do something for them every now and then when the mood suits us, maybe we will take the time to pray for them if we are burdened by their needs, but more often than not, these people are outside the circle of those for whom we would be willing to make sacrifices. In the next level come acquaintances, and those in this level are even less likely to elicit our concern. Then comes the level of those that we don’t know, or don’t particularly like… for whatever reason; followed by the level of those that we dislike. It’s probably safe to say that at this level, to go anywhere out of our way for these folks would be pretty unusual. But this isn’t the love that God describes at all, is it? We are called to love everyone with the same agape love that we instinctively reserve for our inner circle, we are called to have the same gracious, self-sacrificing, impetuous, extravagant, love for everybody; even our enemies.
A few years back I heard a story that really brought this home to me and I’d like to share it with you, but I have to warn you… this will be difficult for me because telling this story is outside of my comfort zone. It’s all good when I’m being an amateur historian or an armchair theologian but talking about people and life and tragedy and emotion doesn’t come easily to me, so please bear with me. It’s not an easy story.
I have a friend, a good friend actually, who had a sister who married a man with a substance abuse problem. As is so often the case, they had a difficult life, because food and housing and creature comforts took a distant back seat to his next fix. Several times over the years they found themselves living in their car, or even on the street. The man’s parents were good people, believers, and they did what they could. They bought them groceries and clothes. More than once they rented an apartment for which they paid months of rent in advance and filled the apartment with furniture. They even paid for a few tries at rehab, to no avail. They really did try to get their son back on track, and they were wonderful to their daughter in law. But their son was unappreciative. He sold the furniture his parents had bought him and used the money for drugs. They would live in the apartment his parents rented for him until they were thrown out for non-payment and then were right back on the streets again. The longer this went on, the more animosity the son displayed towards his parents, until one day, the parents came to his apartment to bring some groceries and the son refused to open the door. He screamed at them through the closed door “Go away, I never want to see you or talk to you again”. As a parent, I can’t even imagine the agony of hearing this from your child. But they honored his wish and left him alone.
A few months after this incident, the son overdosed and died. During the funeral, my friend spent a good deal of time with her sister at the funeral home. Over the years, my friend had also become friends with her sister’s in laws and she knew them to be good people who had tried to take very good care of her sister. At one point during the day my friend noticed the man’s mother standing in front of her son’s casket and she was crying softly. My friend went up to her and put her arm around her and just hugged her. The mother turned to my friend and said, pointing to her son “You know, it’s not him that I’m crying for. I’m crying for the little boy that the devil and his angels stole from me”.
Before I heard this story, I was completely perplexed as to how God could possibly expect us to love our enemies. Even more so was I perplexed at how Jesus could pray for forgiveness for those who mocked Him, shamed Him, and murdered Him, but now I kind of think I get it. We mostly like to think of ourselves as being mature and sophisticated adults, but I don’t think that’s how God sees us at all. “Suffer the little children to come unto me” Jesus said, “For” … For What?? “For of such is the Kingdom of God.” Right? Every Sunday Rev. Rack quotes Psalm 24: “The Earth is the Lord’s and all who dwell therein”. To God, every single person on this planet belongs to Him and every single person on this planet is, or at least was, His precious, loved, and honored little boy or little girl. Such is God’s love that this is how He sees us, each of us. And He calls on us to do the same.
Our life’s work is to learn to love as God loves. Our job is to take those in our outer circles and move them as close to the center as we can possibly get them. Our mission is to have the same concern for those in our outer circles that we have for those in our inner circles; to have the same passion for their well-being, the same commitment to seeing them well fed and well housed, and well cared for, the same desire to see them happy, healthy, and fulfilled. We need to work towards developing a heart where that which would be completely unacceptable for our own children, whether in how they are fed, or how they live, or how they are cared for, would, to us, be completely unacceptable for any of God’s children, anywhere. We need to work towards developing a heart where that which would be completely unacceptable for our own children in terms of their security, or their safety, or their health, or their well-being, would, to us, be completely unacceptable for any of God’s children, anywhere. And the minute that we stop caring in this way for those in our outer circles, the minute that we stop advocating for fairness, justice, and equality for those in our outer circles, that’s when we stop loving as Jesus loved.
This will be a lifelong struggle for us all, because truly, it’s not easy. Even when we know that we need to learn to see people as God’s beloved children, let’s face it… people can be aggravating sometimes. (Have you been on the Parkway lately?) And time and time again we are going to find ourselves falling on God’s grace as we fail, once again, to live up to our calling. But there’s one thing that I’ve learned over the years. I’ve learned that God’s Law isn’t intended to be a list of rules and regulations to be followed. God’s law is actually a description of what the human heart is supposed to look like. There’s no scoreboard; God isn’t keeping score. He’s just asking us that, when we fall, we seek His forgiveness, pick ourselves up, and resume the task of striving to love as Jesus loved; resume the task of striving to make our hearts look like God’s heart. And when we do that, that’s called faithfulness. And when we’re faithful, that when God looks at us, gets a big smile on His face, points to us, and says “That’s MY kid!”
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